— …but it doesn’t make any sense!
— Please hear me out.
— You have one minute, nothing more.
— So our hero is a scientist/statistician who doesn’t like Christmas and ignores his PhD students.
— It rings a bell.
— Well, then he is visited by the Ghost p-values of Past, Present and Future studies.
— OK.
— And the scientist asks the p-values if he can do anything about those studies. And the Ghost p-values say that they are not the problem, but the incentives in academia are what they are truly driving the problem. That he should live life and drink red wine, but no Pinot Noir, which tastes like white wine.
— Seriously?
— Yes! Isn’t this a great movie premise?
Unfortunately for the scientist/statistician, the studio is not going ahead with this story. At least he is drinking a glass of heavy-duty Cabernet Sauvignon.
